INNER ATTAINMENT MEDIA

“This is Sheila.”

 

Yes, beloved.

 

“I’m really happy to be here. I honor your presence. I’m here to experience the light and to remind myself how to do it when I’m not with the Beings.”

 

Very good. Very good. Very good.

​

That is our purpose in coming so, that you know and trust this on your own. You must know this for yourself. Not because we say so, but you trust the voice of God within you. Welcome, beloved.”

 

Who is next?

 

“My name is Azanna.”

 

Yes, beloved.

 

“I’m here…I’m not sure why...”

 

Is this your first time with us, beloved?

 

Slowly and softly she answered, “No, I was where the Presence was before and um…— a lot of work, ah…it made a lot of sense,” she said referring to the way she perceived her experience with the Beings of The Christ Light. “And so far,” she continued, “I believe that I have a lot of painful growth and – I sometimes have a hard time, ah, – staying in the physical realm. I don’t want to be here. So, I—I believe I have work to do—to complete before I came here. So, I have to keep coming back.”

 

May we speak with you, beloved?

 

“Yes.”

 

May we look at you?

 

They asked seeking permission to look at her aura. “Sure,” she answered. There was silence in the room while the Beings “looked” at her. My breath became slower as I felt their attention focused on her. Inwardly, I experienced a slight gentle pressure in the center of my forehead in that area commonly known as the “third eye.” Soon they continued.

 

 

May we ask you a question?

 

“Yes.”

 

 

Why is your life not as you want it?

 

 

“I think partly because I try to ignore the kind of things that society says that I should have or be and that’s not what I really want.”

 

 

And what is wrong with what you want?

 

 

“Sometimes they’re unacceptable.”

 

 

Are you sure? Not acceptable to whom?

 

 

“My mother,” she said, her voice slightly breaks.

 

How old are you?

 

“Forty-one.”

 

Old enough to be free, yes?

 

“Yes. But, I’m all tied up.”

 

Do not feel embarrassed by this question for the instrument who sits before you had similar concerns about her parents when her life was leading her in a different direction from their own.

 

Now, if you lived your life—if you lived your life—if you lived your life, your life, your life, your life what would happen to your mother’s life?

 

“She’d live hers!”

 

Would she mind living her life?

 

“She is living hers.”

 

And, so what does that have to do with your life beyond your feelings about what she may think?

 

“I’m not sure I understand that. I’m not sure I understood that.”

 

We will ask this: Would it not be better for you to live your life, become happy with the risk of her disapproval; and allowing her this freedom to disapprove of you and the time to choose to accept your happiness for yourself?

 

“Yes, I want to.”

 

So, can you give her the freedom not to approve of you?

 

“I will.”

 

Are you sure?

 

“Yes…”

 

Can you love her in spite of her disapproval? they asked.

 

“No.”

 

Why, beloved?

 

“I don’t know.”

 

May we work with you on this subject tonight, beloved?

 

Very softly she answered, “Yes.”

 

Good. So, when these introductions are complete we will do this. And who is this who speaks with us?

 

“Azanna.”

 

Azanna, alright beloved. Thank you, beloved. Do think about what we have said until we speak with you later.

 

The session continued with dialogue with others present. Following a short break, the session continued.

 

Now we will begin. Let’s center.

 

After those in attendance spent a few moments centering, the session continued.

 

Azanna may we speak with you?

 

“Yes.”

 

Thank you, beloved. Now, have you given much thought to our earlier conversation?

 

“Yes.”

 

What are you feeling now?

 

“There’s a lot of work to do.”

 

Are you involved in the daily care of your mother?

 

“No.”

 

So, it is not an issue of being a caretaker.

 

“No, we don’t live in the same state.”

 

What is it that you wish to do? Can you say, comfortably?

 

“I wish to do whatever I need to do with our relationship to have it right so that we don’t have to come back together.”

 

Please describe the relationship. Is this alright with you? Are you comfortable with this beloved?

 

“Yes”

 

Very good. Please describe the relationship.

 

“Um, there is guilt.”

 

Whose is it? Yours or hers? Your guilt or her guilt?

 

“Mine, but I still think some is hers too, but, I can’t speak for her.”

 

Why is it that you feel guilty?

 

“Because I don’t love her.”

 

Do you know why?

 

“Um, there is no why. I didn’t grow up with her, but I feel like I’m supposed to love her because she is my mother. But, I don’t! But, I should.”

 

In most cases, we don’t use the word ‘should.’ But, in the context of knowing that God is Love and God is Creator of All and you are one seeking spiritual mastery, you may wish to consider ‘should’ in this light. Not because she is your mother, but because she is created by God, as were you.

 

Now, loving her is not for her, but for you. To see God within her is for you, not her. Her work is to see God within you. You cannot be responsible for that. That is her journey. 

 

Now—this woman with whom you have no bond—how is it she has so much power over your life?

 

She is silent.

 

Do you know?

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

Another question better suited for you—if it is alright with you to ask. Is this alright, beloved, to ask another question?

 

“Yes.”

 

Why do you allow your mother to have this power over your life? What is the payoff for you?

 

“I think there’s been…um…I guess just my hope that...um, that I have a normal relationship.”

 

What is normal to you?

 

“What society says is normal, I guess.”

 

What is normal to you—to you—to you?

 

“I think normal is being able to love your mother.”

 

May we offer a suggestion?

 

“Yes.”

 

Let’s not worry at this time about loving your mother. Rather you, beloved one, would do well to love yourself enough to live your own life. It is difficult to give to another what you do not have for yourself.

 

Do you understand?

 

“Yes, I see.”

 

Yes, yes, yes. Perhaps you will better serve yourself to choose to love yourself.

 

Now, we will say this: Parenting and the guidance of adults—and this is applicable to the man here who asked about serving youth—such guidance from parents, adults, and others in authority over young people helps to teach them their own worth and to learn to love themselves when such attention is given in a way that supports their feelings of worthiness for self.

 

Now, one learns to value themselves through the care of the parents, the guardians or others in authority and they also learn to trust God of the universe in this same way. The lessons come easier when love is freely given; when nurturing is given; when one is provided for; when one is accepted in spite of their errors or mistakes; and when one is corrected in a lovingly and supported way, which sometimes means trusting the child enough to allow it to fall, to pick itself up.

 

What good does a parent do who carries a child, never allowing their feet to touch the ground; never allowing them to build the coordination and muscles to use for walking? Sometimes a parent must lovingly stand aside and cheer the child on. Encouraging the child to trust what is within them. Finding ways, in which a child learns to trust their own value and that God is providing — knowing that when there is a need, that need will be provided in a way useful at that time.

 

Now, they may find that they may not always get exactly the thing they want, but what they need. If this is done with love, simply because the child is loved and even when sacrifices are sometimes made, the child learns to understand the value of their own worth. But, in addition, a loving parent sometimes steps back and allows the child to earn the money or do the work for the things they want so that they learn that the parent is not the sole source of their good but that what is supplied through the parent will be supplied directly to them. These are subtle ways in which children learn to trust God and the universe.

 

Now, there are other ways children sometimes learn to trust God in spite of the parents. These are often unfortunate ways in which some will learn because of the lack of parental nurturing. The child does not learn in a direct way how God loves through others. That child sometimes learns not to look for God’s love through others and it may require some time for that child to trust God fully. The role of parent, guardian, or person in authority over a child is so important in their spiritual development. You need not say the word God one time. But, through you, they will learn of God and their relationship to God or how they understand their relationship to God by the examples given through your life with them.

 

Do you see this?

 

“Yes,” many in the audience answered.

 

This is how it was originally meant for the world to evolve. Parent to child, and each child knowing more, would give more to their children and on and on. But, let us not go into that too long.

 

Back to our beloved daughter.

 

Now, you may not have had the benefit of a loving relationship with the woman who gave birth to you. That is unfortunate, but it is not to define your life beyond what you accept.

 

“Yes,” she answers.

 

Now, beloved one, we would suggest that you create the life you want on your own. As you learn and respect the God Force within you, others, including your mother will do the same. But, this you must give to yourself. Your mother cannot and will never give this to you because it is not hers to give. You see, beloved, even in the example of the good parent, that we gave earlier, the child must still choose to accept your guidance and your love. So, there is nothing automatic about these things. However, conditions can be created to make the choices clearer and easier. But still, the choices must be made. Do you understand this, beloved?

 

Again she answered, “Yes, I do.”

 

We feel, beloved one, if you free yourself to love yourself and live your life now as you want it, your mother will grow to respect you. She cannot do this now because—you have given her little to respect. Only the burdens of carrying your life or you have given to her the need to resist the burden of carrying your life.

 

Do you understand?

 

You are seeking to impose upon her to be your source of happiness, to be the one who approves of you. This no one likes to do. Some do, yes, because they don’t know how or are unwilling to say, ‘no’ to others. But, this is not a burden most love to carry. She may speak of it—what she does not like about you, what she disapproves of—allow her to do this. But, even though she voices these opinions, do not give to her the burden of living your life. But, take back—make the living of your life a joy for you to do. You will find the freedom you do not now know if you willingly decide to live your life. It will not be easy all of the time but, it will be yours, not your mother’s life, but your life.

 

Your life is worth the hard work. It is worth the miracle. The best thing you can do for yourself, beloved, is to seek your own approval. Know that you approve of yourself. As you do this, beloved, you will find life worth living. This you must discover for yourself. It does not mean that all things will be easy. But, as you seek to live your own life and trust the God Force, you will know that you have within you the strength and guidance to do and overcome all things—all things—ALL things!

 

Then go to your mother, woman to woman; spiritual master, knowing the Light is lighting your way. Go to share what she is willing to share. If nothing, simply share your love. That will be sufficient.

 

Do you understand this, beloved?

 

“Yes.”

 

What is your feeling about this, beloved?

 

“It’s a lot of work.”

 

A lot of work?

“Yes.”

 

Yes.

 

“But, I’m not ready. I’d like to begin now.”

 

Yes, yes, yes. Are you not worth it?

 

“Yes.”

 

Very good. Very good. Very good. And when will you be ready?

 

“Now.”

 

Very good. Very good. Very good. So we suggest this to you. It is our “spiritual mastery basic 101”:

 

Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen to yourself. Learn to trust yourself. Learn to be your own authority. Meaning: do things because you know to do them.

 

You may seek the wise counsel or wisdom of another but, do not act because another ‘wise’ one has said to do so. But, act because you know it to be true for you. If they are in agreement with you, good. You use the counsel of another one to make your own decisions, not to have them decide for you.

 

So, be your own authority and in this light, seek no one’s approval but your own. Approve of yourself. Be willing to make a mistake. Want your spiritual mastery, your freedom, your walk with God—want it so much that you are willing to make a mistake as you learn to do this.  Do not concern yourself with looking right or looking the way you feel society wants you to look. You must do this work for yourself, beloved, even if it appears to be wrong by others. Be wrong until you learn to be right. But, you must do this for yourself. Not for your mother, your father, your husband, your children. You must do this for yourself.

 

Too many spiritual people are worried about being right or looking right and they stay stuck! Be willing to err if it’s going to lead you to be right—right with God as you know and understand Him. Not according to the Bible, the Koran, the Vedas or anything else, but according to your understanding of God’s Word moving through you as you. Tools—these great books are tools to assist you in knowing God for yourself.

 

So, we think this word is good for all present. Don’t you?

 

© 1996, 2015  by Mpingo Marilyn Griffin